A pain in the neck

A simple hour of relaxation turned into a major pain in the neck. As most of you know, I have never been a fan of massages. Whenever we would head out for a girls day at a spa, I would usually opt for a Mani/pedi. It's not that I don't enjoy the light rub of my tense muscles, it's just that my body is really sensitive to touch. I didn't want to be laying on a table for an hour thinking about how each thrust into my body was going to leave a black blue mark the next day.

A popular thing to do in Hong kong is to have a massage in the very comfort of your own home. D works hard all day and really enjoys a good de-stressing massage every now and then. I decided to put my worries behind me and booked a couples massage for a Saturday morning. I had read a lot of wonderful testimonials on this company's website and thought it would be nice to treat ourselves to a morning of bliss.

Two therapists arrived that morning ready to get down to work. D's therapist who spoke not a word of English, was great. Her soothing touch lulled D into a deep level of relaxation. My therapist on the other hand, spoke a few words of English: pain, hurt, pain, and yes.

All of my massage nightmares had come true. I have never before experienced such rough treatment. I really don't know how D could have been able to relax with all the pounding, slapping, and shaking that was taking place just inches away from him. I would say "pain" and the therapist would repeat "pain" and continue pressing deeply into the sensitive spot. Once in a while she would say "pain?" and I would say "yes pain," but she wouldn't let up at all. I wonder what made her ask that? It was probably either the fact that my body was tensing up more than it was when she had gotten there, or the fact that I was loudly whimpering into my pillow.

I kept my eye on the clock and jumped up as soon as the hour had passed. My entire body ached from my poked in sinuses to my slapped calf muscles. As soon as the therapists were gone I stood in mirror inspecting some bruises that were already surfacing and cried.

Four excruciatingly sore days later I received an email from the company requesting feedback from the massage. Boy oh boy did I give them some feedback. I received a letter apologizing for everything that happened or didn't happen that hour. They said as a courtesy they would send the SAME therapist, yes the SAME therapist to work on me again at no charge. Needless to say, I politely declined the offer.

I guess I learned that massages aren't for me...they are more of a pain in the neck.